After a long and frigid winter, I realized I needed some rest and relaxation. I had tendonitis in my hands from typing and mousing all day. My ever-aching feet were calloused and swollen. I was having constant migraines. I longed to swim in a big body of water and feel the sun on my skin. I wanted to be care free, with no schedules, alarm clocks, chores or even shoes. I just needed a few days of unadulterated summertime. And dammit! I wanted it now.
I asked my sister, who is a school teacher, if she wanted to go with me on a quick trip down south. We’d wait until she was done the school year and then fly out. But our schedules and vacation goals didn’t jibe and she ended up declining.
My mother had always said that if I wanted to do something, to not wait for others to be ready to come along. Just go!
So I went to Cuba for five days.
And I’m so glad I did. It was exactly the vacation I wanted and when I wanted it. I played in the water all day. Ate when I was hungry. Slept when I was tired and woke up only when the sun told me to. I came back to Canada refreshed, relaxed and raring to go!
Don’t wait for other people to come along on your journey. No one will ever be as invested in you and your dreams as you are. Go follow them when and how it’s right for you.
Brenda, this one is for you.
Sometimes when I’m taking the bus to work, I pretend it’s a shuttle taking me from the airport to a week at a Caribbean resort or other foreign destination.
Sometimes I will make a sandwich for myself, garnish it and then wrap it up and put it in the fridge. Later when I pull the sandwich from the fridge and eat it, I pretend that someone else made it for me.
Sometimes when I write I pretend I’m Jane Austen. I’m a woman who documents life, a keen and piercing observer of the world.
I’m a firm advocate of being in the here and now, and I’m pretty sure I’m not suffering from psychosis (but if anyone wants to argue otherwise, tell me!). So what is the point of all my pretending?
It’s good for me.
Pretending helps me know what my heart needs even when my head hasn’t gotten the memo.
Sometimes I need a break from my everyday life, an adventure or challenge. I dream about a relaxing getaway or exotic travels.
Sometimes I wish someone would take care of me. I need to feel like I’m not alone and doing it all for myself. I pretend some other loving body has made me a sandwich.
Sometimes I need to feel that what I do matters, that my work transcends time and space and reaches people in a way that changes them for the better.
Pretending reveals the urges of my heart. And that revelation is the first step to creating the reality that I need.