Online dating – what I learned on Lavalife

datingI’ve done my fair share of online dating. I’ve met some great guys who are sincerely looking for love and companionship and I’ve also met some cads who’ve lied about everything from their marital status to their sexual preferences and relationship goals. Online dating isn’t that much different from more traditional dating except for a few things.

Online dating compresses the time frame for meeting potential dating partners. Join a dating site and suddenly you’ll meet dozens of potential dating partners in an evening rather than over the span of months. The result can be thrilling and sometimes discouraging. Sure there are crazy people on the dating sites. But they’re out there in real life too. They just come at you faster through online dating. And remember, you are someone’s crazy person too, so stay humble.

Online dating makes it much easier to deceive yourself and potential dating partners.

I can almost guarantee that if a man’s profile says he’s 5’6” he will be 5’3” or shorter. I don’t care how tall a man is. I do care that he’s lying, especially about something so trivial and easy to spot. What else is he lying about?

If you’re going to put up an online dating profile, be impeccable with the facts. You want to attract people for who you really are and not be left squirming when you have to magically lose 30 pounds or grow three inches overnight before that first meeting.

Use the Internet to meet people, not to get to know them. It’s waaaaaay too easy to fill in the gaps between reality and how you want reality to be, and become attached to a fantasy.

So don’t spend too much time online getting to know a potential dating partner. A few emails exchanged will do. If you are interested in someone you’ve met online, arrange to meet. Only once you actually meet someone in real life will you know if there’s chemistry for you both. Trust me – if he/she smells like your sibling, it will be a turn off!

Last thing. It’s dating. It’s supposed to be fun. So go forth, be you and let the world love ya!

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20 thoughts on “Online dating – what I learned on Lavalife

    • There’s so much lying on dating sites it’s mind-boggling. Just talking men here… they routinely put a younger age because everyone over 40 thinks they don’t look/act/feel like “those other people” over 40. It’s hilarious! And “divorced” men are really only separated, while “separated” men are still living with their wives. How do you build a friendship and trust when you can’t believe anything someone says?

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      • Paula, I couldn’t agree more. I’m incredibly naïve and idealistic so it took me eons to realize that so much of it was a bunch of lies. I think a lot of the people online aren’t actually looking for a real-life partner, they just want some entertainment, maybe some phone or Skype sex and an ego boost. And although I’ve never pursued a woman online, I’d bet it’s safe to say that both genders are equally guilty of less than honourable intentions (and actions!).

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  1. I believe if people are going to lie they will do it no matter what. You can not change someone personality just because they are online, you can just get rid of them faster. The best online dating sites can not monitor liars you have to do it sorry. Just use your instincts and use the sites Video chat before you meet in person. I think this will help watching body language and they have to reply faster making it harder to lie. Remember most guys get their online dating profile tips from other guys that say lying works. Video chat puts the pressure on and you can see if they used a fake profile which gets rid of at least some liars :).

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    • Hi, Kleeellis. Thank you! I learned the hard way that people who are reluctant to meet are really much more into the fantasy of romance (or whatever) than a real life relationship.

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  2. Wow, the article is very comprehensive. True if a guy is interested in you on the first exchange of emails, he will constantly contact you and set a meet-up for you to get to know each other. And it’s a date so have fun and enjoy meeting him.

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    • Hi, Petra -yes, online dating is a whole new world with no real rules. We learn as we go along. Thanks for visiting my blog and hope to see you here again soon.

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    • Hi, Birgit! I appreciate your reading the blog and joining in the conversation. I love hearing from people – makes me know there is someone out there reading along! I hope to see you commenting again soon.

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