Love doesn’t hurt

I’ve been single and dating for about 35 years. I cannot begin to count the number of hours I’ve spent first revisiting each thrilling moment with whomever was my newest love interest and then, soon enough, miserably dissecting the meaning behind his every word and action looking for a clue about how he felt  and where our relationship was going.  

For me, the first flush of “love” was so heady, a giggle in my tummy, a big, old endorphin rush, brain-soaking-in-chemicals, walking-on-air high. I would be obsessed and infatuated and fully charged. The feeling was deliciously addictive and it was easy to want to fall in “love” with that mysterious, smouldering stranger or smiling sweetie who made me feel soooooo good.   Image

But here’s the trouble with highs and addictions – they have a dark side. The high doesn’t last forever. Eventually I’d crash. I’d hurt. I’d be confused, needy, exposed. That’s not love.  

Now I know better.

Real love doesn’t hurt. With real love, you feel great. You’re sure of your own feelings and your partner’s. You treat each other with care and respect. Everything isn’t perfect, but anything is doable and manageable.  

Real love is not a drug. Real love is sustenance. It nourishes your soul and your life.     

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12 thoughts on “Love doesn’t hurt

  1. Wow! Great post! I love “Real love is sustenance. It nourishes your soul and you life.” You have some great wisdom here and you are certainly right that real love does not hurt. No relationship is perfect and every relationship needs work, but love does not equal pain and suffering. Great read and I look forward to more!!

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    • Nauseous?? Maybe those are just butterflies?? You are very right in your comment re: real love not completing. I have always hated the expression “my other half.” It suggests people are only half-formed until they are in a pair.

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  2. Hi, Dee. I’m so glad you liked this post. If there’s wisdom here, believe it when I tell you that it was hard earned and a long time coming! I think especially as women we learn to accept a lot of outrageous behaviour in the dating world. And why? You cover those issues so well in your blog. I thoroughly enjoy reading your well thought-out posts!

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