… It only changes it. And that holds true whether you believe in life after death or not.
Obviously you’re not going to have the same sorts of interactions with the deceased that you had with them when they were alive.
But the feelings you had for a person in life will not magically vanish just because that person is no longer physically present.
If you had a positive and loving relationship, you will still have those feelings. Things you see and do will remind you of the deceased and make you smile. You may still talk to them either in your mind or even aloud. You might even get a response.
Conversely, if you have a difficult or negative relationship with someone while they are alive, the strife isn’t over when that person dies, as many people seem to think or perhaps hope.
The changes that death brings to these relationships may cause frustration or open a door to forgiveness.
If you have unfinished business with a person who has died, you might be frustrated that you can’t get an explanation or receive an apology.
However, death can also level the playing field.
My father’s death finally gave me a chance to say many of the things I wanted to say to him without being rebuffed, denied or interrupted. It also allowed me to love my father without fear. I could see him as human – mortal, vulnerable, flawed, a child of God – just like me.
I feel closer and more loving to him now than I ever could when he was alive. That is the transformative power of death. What changes it brings for you are your choice.
Thanks Audrey!
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What an interesting and thoughtful perspective on something that so many of us struggle to be comfortable with. Thank you!
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Audrey……deep thoughts in this one, interesting and informative as usual :}
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Thank you all. Roshan, I’ve never been uncomfortable with death. What made me the most uncomfortable was my fear of grieving. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to handle that emotional pain and it was only reminding myself over and over again that this is normal and people the world over go through this and make it to the other side intact that kept me going. When I surrendered to the feelings, the gifts started rolling in (as they always do – the monster always has a gift!).
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